Even the most talented and gorgeous Felines amongst us can sometimes find it difficult to attract attention of busy Staff members.

Although this may be for very good reasons (i.e. Cleaning of Feline quarters or preparation of Your favourite cuisine), it is sometimes necessary to take remedial action in order to rectify this situation. Hence, I would like to recommend the following five techniques for Staff Attentiveness Disorder (SAD)!

1.Staff pre-occupied with computer tasks (a most common and unseemly disorder) should be circled three times, then jumped upon – preferably into the lap. This should immediately stop offending behaviour. Repeat as required.
 
2.Staff pre-occupied with irrelevant conversation. Stand in front of Staff and stare into their eyes. If no action is taken, then leap directly onto the chest and climb into the shoulder region. Repeat as required.
 
3.Staff walking away should be followed with a running leap. When you catch their heels, jump onto the back and hang on with claws. This will ensure they change direction and hopefully attitude!
 
4.Staff falling asleep. (A common complaint – usually associated with computer/tv distractions – see Item 1). Remedy may be two-fold. If Staff are not wearing shoes, try placing your claws between their toes and moving them around. In the unlikely even that this is ineffective, try lying directly across the throat area – Staff should then experience a choking feeling which is bound to open more than their eyes!
 
5.A group of inattentive Staff can be rectified by enthusiastic scratching of nearby furniture. Do not; however, just claw one area (common Feline error).
 Move from one piece of furniture to the next, creating multiple points of Staffer interest. (e.g. Try scratching a chair, then carpet, then the coffee table, front of sofa, side of sofa and back of sofa, before running behind curtains and blissfully staring out window). This should ensure that the attention of each errant Staff member will be redirected towards you in the manner required.

 
Purrfectly yours,

Aunty Holly

cat blogging cat