The Cat ..... on ..... Mat

It's so important to encourage Staff to enhance their understanding of the Feline vocabulary whenever possible. That's why I regularly give My Householders thorough revision lessons.

Although many Staff members will show varying degrees of Feline Intelligence Skills – it's always important to re-enforce and expand their basic skill set.

First start with a simple sentence which is easy to illustrate. Let's take the well known sentence found in all young Staffers' texts,

“The Cat sat on the mat”

Whilst not technically incorrect, the well educated Staffer will be quick to spot the potential for improvements such as

“The Cat sat on Their mat”

This of course, re-enforces undeniable Feline ownership of the Mat by the Cat.

You may wish to illustrate this concept to Staff, by placing Yourself squarely on one such mat, in order that the concept be remembered more clearly. Furthermore, extend Staff repertoire with illustrations such as the following.

“ The Cat slept on Their mat”

“The Cat rolled on Their mat”

“ The Cat played on Their mat”

“The Cat groomed themselves on Their mat”

Note the repetitive use of the word “Their” to denote ownership of the mat by the Cat at all times. NB. At No Time should the use of “Their” denote ownership to Staff members.

Poorly educated Staff, who still work under the absurd misapprehension that any mat belongs to Householders other than the Cat, should be subject to immediate and extensive Staff rehabilitation.

Feline Chinchilla Chelsea enquires,

“My Staff have the audacity to believe that they hold ownership of My beautiful shag pile rug. Aunty Holly, how should I best purrsuade them of the error of their ways?”

Oh dear Chelsea – it appears most of that thick shag pile is between your Householders' ears! I suggest you start with an extensive re-education plan to establish your unquestionable rights.

Begin by sitting squarely in the middle of your rug and scratching to establish your territory. Once this has been witness and understood by all Staff members, then proceed to cover the entire surface of Your rug in thick piles of beautiful Chinchilla fur. To finish, decorate with sandy paw prints and lizard tales (when in season).

Purrfectly yours,

Aunty Holly

cat blogging cat