![[Image]](http://www.bloginspace.com/_assets/img/BIS_trigger1.gif)
Objet d'Shred
Seldom would I recommend following in the Pawsteps of any Canine; however, since I have been feeling particularly inspired by the recent exploits of Barney the Guard Dog, (and his panache for Teddy Bear remodelling), I thought I would follow My creative instincts and let loose.
Aunty Holly’s Guide to the Creation of “Objet d’Shred”
1. Carefully select an ‘Objet’ which is soft, fluffy and preferably inanimate - cushions, pillows, furnishings are a purrfect choice. (Small rodents, whilst having excellent texture and form, are unlikely to keep for more than a couple of hours indoors, before being removed by dull, uncreative Staff).
2. Lie across the ‘Objet’ and slowly push one paw after the other into your work of art. Feel the soft, plush padding under Your paws as you wrench open the coverings with Your powerful claws. Meditate on Your sense of overwhelming power, control and annihilation.
3. Having ripped the front fabric to Your satisfaction, revealing its contents, turn over Your artwork and continue on the reverse.
4. Wait in anticipation for the screeches of appreciation from unsuspecting Staff, who have been unaware of your considerable Objet d’Shred talents.
Skogkatt ‘Stripper’ writes,
'Aunty Holly, I would dearly love to rip open my Householders favourite lounge chair. Where should I start?’
A simple question, Stripper! Start where ever you want! Here's one I prepared earlier:-
Begin by ripping into threads at the bottom of the chair.
Then work Your way upwards carefully wrecking the fabric as You go without letting the hessian fall entirely to the floor.
Thence work towards the inner stuffing, pulling this outward towards Your Audience.
Watch to make sure that Staff understand the difficulty and skill with which you undertake your chosen purrsuit. Furthermore, continue until Your Householders, enraged by the generosity of Your talents compared to their own, can stand it no more, and fling themselves at Your paws.
Having completed your ‘Objet’, you may exit, knowing that Your contributions will be graciously distributed amongst all deserving Householders.
Good luck and enjoy your Purrsonalised
“Objet d’Shred”!
Purrfectly yours,
Aunty Holly
All Aboard the Friday Ark #100 Centennial Edition
Catch Carnival of the Cats #126 at Red Peonies
Posted on Friday, August 18, 2006 at 17:52
by
Aunty Holly
in Furravourite Things
|
2 Comments
|
1 Reference
Aunty Holly
in Furravourite Things
|
2 Comments
|
1 Reference
References (1)
References allow you to track sources for this article, as well as articles that were written in response to this article.
-
Response: Suzy HamiltonHist laughs at him!
Reader Comments (2)