Being a naturally generous Feline, I love to share many things. My thoughts for example, are always liberally dispersed amongst a large number of willing and grateful Staff. I cannot; however, understand, nor am I willing to condone the behaviour of several Bird brained Staff members in the past few days.

Picture This. A lazy spring afternoon in the garden, Staff pottering obediently about, a soft breeze blows gently through the gum trees, and the fragrant smell of freshly blooming jonquils wafting over My lawn. Charming isn't it?

Well how quickly things can change! Late Thursday, whilst enjoying one such tranquil scene, a young male Kookaburra suddenly swooped onto a low lying pine branch, followed by a flotilla of Australian Minor Birds, literally picking on his head. Whilst feeling a slight degree of empathy for this young Bird, I began to watch with intense interest.

Would those rotten Minors get their come-uppance? Would the teenage Bird brain fight back? Would I be able to stalk behind the ruckus without them knowing and enjoy a feathered appetiser?

It was then that something truly bizarre occurred. My Staff briefly disappeared, only to return with My raw meat tray. Could you imagine? What were they thinking?

My high quality cuisine offered to a bunch of quarrelling Bird brains! Whilst Staff THREW (can you imagine?) My meat towards the young Kooka, the Minors quickly scattered – no doubt recognising their position in the food chain was looking a lot closer to My airborne delicacy than they had previously considered.